Day 20: The one who broke your heart the hardest

Лучше ужасный конец, чем бесконечный ужас.
That's the story about a dream that turned up a nightmare. I was very young and didn't even know what species to love. Everything was new to me, special thanks to my parents. And i went to a Space lovers club. Star trek fan club Moscow. There a young tiamatian met a lot of friends and her best friend. But soon anime fandom got strong and we were fed by an idea of yaoi. My first kiss was not a girl but my first kiss with a real love was. Then we had some physical relations right up to that incident.
I kissed her with painted lips and her mother saw my lipstick on her. She called me names and forbid us to meet. I was ready to go opposite my parents. But she wasn't so the first next boy she met become her new lover and i become a sick person. After if i loved her for nearly 10 years.
Since then she had a lot of boys but no one of them "was good enough for her". At first i hoped she will understand everything and come back but time passed and she became a walking disease container and i stopped waiting. I still watched her life and now i want her to find someone she will love. But not me anymore.
Now my memories of her begin to vanish. And i found the loveliest girl in the world. Even Doctor himself helped me to forget Aya. But my heart ached for 10 years it's quite a period. She brought me a lot of pain, and a lot of pain to most of my friends. But i am still your friend, realize yourself and be happy.


Day 19: Someone who pesters your mind—good or bad

Лучше ужасный конец, чем бесконечный ужас.
The flashmob was really made for people with a lot of friends and good memory, just unlike me.

My management teacher pesters my mind now. I never respected managers and she just want a respect because she can spoil my education in the institute, oh yes, that's the point. But i am not angry she's just a bitch let her be as she is everyone is special in his own way.


Day 18: The person who you wish you could be.

Лучше ужасный конец, чем бесконечный ужас.
Always be yourself, unless you can be Jack Harkness, then always be Jack Harkness.
So i try to be. For me being Jack is not only to be in love with Ianto or to catch aliens. It's not enough to dress up in a greatcoat and to make a time vortex manipulator. But it is also a hard work. It is changes in temper. I should be able to look in his eyes and tell him that all will be all right. I must take the responsibility for everything i do, and i mustn't let someone underestimate me. I must be able to admit my mistakes and to fix it myself. I must forgive people however dull, stupid, aggressive and religious the most of them are. Sometimes it's hard to comport at this moments so i close my eyes and convince myself that it is just a new adventure in my infinite life.


Day 17: Someone from your childhood.

Лучше ужасный конец, чем бесконечный ужас.
It would me Masha she was my best friend in school. She was a wolf and i was a horse we played together. Most of our games was running here and there and show each other how good we can run and jump. We even had our competitions who will overtake the opponent on the deep snow. Or who will catch another in high grass. We sniffed and crawled and then fly at each other. It was funny and educating. I still use the knowledge how to race a long distance or how to keep balance on a slick ice. And people say it really looks good.


Day 16: Someone who’s not in your state/country.

Лучше ужасный конец, чем бесконечный ужас.
I will wright about Shankara, i don't know where he is now, but he is often somewhere strange. When he was young he lived in Pakistan near mount Keilash there he was married first.
The story is he was a sadhu - an ascetic person who lives alone in forests or sacred places and he didn't feel like being married, because he was pretty much gay and loved his friend. But one day his friend came to him with his wife and told that Shankara should marry too.
Shankara stayed in his usual place and just waited till some cute girl will go there to meditate and he was wright. His first wife was lured this way. A short time after the killed herself after her father called my teacher a stinky hobo and didn't let him in the house.
Once he even killed a coworker, and had to spend a confinement in Kashi. But he didn't give up.
The second wife gave him three children two boys and one girl. They were killed by muslims not long before he came to Russia, where he met me. He is a wise man and heteaches me a lot of different things i could have wrought a lot about him but i feel lazy for it. So that's all.


Day 15: The person you miss the most

Лучше ужасный конец, чем бесконечный ужас.
I could have wrought about two persons who i love(d) but if i do so all the flashmobe will be about two of them so...

The person i miss the most are my Godmother Elvira and my Grandfather Sergei. They were very educated persons and i have already wrought about Elvira.
Now we're into a story about my grandfather. He often took me to galleries and theaters. Without him there is nobody to go with me to the opera. I did never pay him enough attention and i miss him a lot now. Still i don't feel like mourning, because it is s dishonor. Let you have a good reborn. I miss you.


Day 14: Someone you’ve drifted away from

Лучше ужасный конец, чем бесконечный ужас.
There were lots of people. Mainly they grew older and our interests began to differ. It's not like i am standing on one place. It's just a way of life, aged people change it. When you are young you try to fuck everything and ride bike, or plain or sky-dive. Closer to your middle-ages you begin to think about job, kids, house, future... You stop developing and stand at one level trying to save it. Get "old friends" together and drink with them. It's not for me, i am going to reamin young for may be 30 years more. So we're drifted away. The only thing that's worrying me is that today's 15-18 years old people are already to old for me. Most of them have forgot what a wonderful, full of adventures place the world is, they forgot how to dream.


Day 13: Someone you wish could forgive you

Лучше ужасный конец, чем бесконечный ужас.
Thinking the whole day i decided. I did nothing really worth forgiving to anybody. However i should forgive myself for a lot of things. First of all for spending plenty of time of my life doing nothing. I lost 8-14 years in many different directions. Now it is hard to catch up. But to do it i must forgive myself for surviving and not living all this years. That's not much but enough for the topic.


Day 12:The person who caused you a lot of pain. (ecology)

Лучше ужасный конец, чем бесконечный ужас.
First i tried to wright about Aya, but then i presumed it will be to much mentioning her in one flashmobe so i will wright about something else. I have already wrought about my parents and just going to wright about my first love so i am going to wright about some abstract people. The thing that causes me a lot of pain is that people in Russia always spoil the environment. There are big mountains of garbage that rise around the city. Our country house that is just 50 km from Moscow is already spoiled by pollution. There was a nice river many goats and cows just three years ago. Now there is a garbage ground. And we still don't sort our rubbish to make it recyclable. It hurts me a lot because my children will live on this planet and it's being swiftly polluted.


Day 11: Somewone who died.

Лучше ужасный конец, чем бесконечный ужас.
At first i didn't know what to wright but then i remembered 3 cases what i'd like to describe.

First of all i will begin with a good friend and a veteran of WWII Astafieva Nina Ivanovna. When she first went to fight she was 17 years old, yes i like young ones. She just finished the school and went through fast course of mine detection. A young skinny girl 50 kilo weight was a great minesweeper, no mine should just react at her. She was ever in first rows before main attacking force. It is always like that, after an enemy retreated the first who goes after are minesweepers then artillery then infantry. But once it was an accident young Nina was saving a soldier so she didn't detect a mine in time. After an explosion her liver was torn and her knee was smashed also she went acarpous. But it wasn't an end of her army career after a hospital she was back to fire line and once again as a minesweeper.
She didn't die during the war she died 80n years later. Still on my hands. She always loved cats and pies. I sweared that i will remember you, recall it?

The second but not a less important is my Godmother Elvira. She raised me when it was no one else near. Together we lived through hunger and beating, once i occasionally dislocated her hand. One of the worst memories of my life. I was young and i was watching Star Trek, She was at home right after the operation. And i was very noisy. If i wasn't she may have lived more. I miss you, mommy.

And the last story i'd like to tell is about someone who died very recently. The girl was ill her temperature was 38 degrees celsius and she couldn't breath she died 30 th aprill. The next day she opened her eyes and did a new breath. And died again by the evening. Her brother always was scared of this things. She revived 5 times. Now she's better. Tomorrow she goes on a date. Gods bless nanites.


Day 10: Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to.

Лучше ужасный конец, чем бесконечный ужас.
I presume myself as a rather dull person, so i am always shy to talk to a lot of people, though i am very happy when they contact me themselves. But that's not a big problem for me, i can easily live in this little concrete cage without feeling lonely, so the only person i really don't talk enough to is my present partner. She deserves to know a_lot but she is hard to get talking. But i like her the best anyway. Yup.


Day 9:Someone you wish you could meet.

Лучше ужасный конец, чем бесконечный ужас.
I wish i could meet John Barrowman, he's a talented actor and singer and he did a lot of great things for LGBT community and he also influenced my life and made it brighter and happier. Seeing him and his partner live a long and beautiful life together made me do something to achieve the same. But i didn't succeed yet. But i am still fighting for that future. He's like a father to me who showed me on his own example that gays can live long and happily. And not to die young because the sсript ended or AIDS.

@настроение: Wish me luck.


Day 8 Your favorite internet friend.

Лучше ужасный конец, чем бесконечный ужас.
Occasionally i don't have much internet friends that i haven't meet in real. One person there was. He was an exception, i met him on a hindu forum, and his name was Alim. He seemed a nice person when i talked to him as a man to man. But then i changed my profile picture to be more recognizable and he found out we belonged to different gender. He couldn't forgive it to me so we feuded and passed different ways. Still conversations with him were the most interesting i have ever had.


Day 7: My ex-girlfriend.

Лучше ужасный конец, чем бесконечный ужас.
And the time has come. I was thinking about it a lot. Who it might be? And i will tell about 11th. No my candy, not you. It was a new beginning that seems to have vanished by now. And this person seemed to cure my heart from hurting for a very long time. From the person who @broke my heart the hardest"[day 20]. By the time previous relations began to shimmer in my memory. And brain began to evaluate Aya the right way at last. All the deceases she kept inside all the boys she slept after me. And a new affection seemed a right decision at that time. 11 was all my fetishes at once. A science fiction fan, who speaks English perfectly and had red hair at the moment we first met. I want to become friends again, because i really appreciate this person who 11 is.

It turned up 2in1 but nwm no one should read it anyway.


Day 6: A stranger.

Лучше ужасный конец, чем бесконечный ужас.
There are a lot of people who i can tell about in this topic. I'll tell about one of the Night Wolves, yes i know there are a lot of things the group did wrong but that man was not so bad, though i presume. He had a 1400 Honda Shadow and i managed to talk to him because it was a big jam and i parked a car and went to the nearest shop. He was almost 60 years old and more then 30 of them he was riding a bike. I told him a pair of jokes about bikers for one year and he told me one main thing in bikers' life. On the speed more then 90 km per hour you can't prevent accident it's just depends on your luck. If you ride 90 you can still turn or slow down. That was a good lesson and follow.


Day 5: My dreams.

Лучше ужасный конец, чем бесконечный ужас.
Hindus have a superstition that if you tell your dreams to anyone it will not become real. So only dreams i can share are some kind of nightmares. I had a really horrifying dream once. That i became a hobo. I still have an opportunity to realize it, but thanks to this note it will not become true. Anyway it's not a good thing to dream. We must act the best way it's possible in present circumstances, but it's useful to have fears.


Day 4: Sibling

Лучше ужасный конец, чем бесконечный ужас.
My closest and actually only family member is my brother. He is awesome though he doesn't like to walk outside frequently, he knows a lot of things about almost everything. I slowly teach him to ride motorcycle and to drive the car. But he's not really fond of driving. He is a kind and fair person and always stays on my side. Most of what i have by now is gained by him. Soon we'll buy a countryside peace of land and build a house on it together. I don't think we will share things as hard as other siblings do, because we are the only persons in the whole world who know what was like for us to survive. Thank you Quatre you are really The Winner.


Day 3: Your parents.

Лучше ужасный конец, чем бесконечный ужас.
Oh that's a story. Honestly this story has a link to a sibling one. Oh that people. I live apart, i don't want to have anything in common with them. And i don't blame them for myself i am gay and abnormal but Quatre could have had a better life. IB forced him to work in army structures and tortured me with bloody music all my childhood that's why i don't understand music at all. And so on and so on i wouldn't wright everything. That's why i decided, since now my parents are JB and AKingstone. And Shankara supported me in this decision. Once i'll be a parent too but i don't want my child to be my toy as i was.


Day 2: A crush.

Лучше ужасный конец, чем бесконечный ужас.
Keeping the tradition let it be a love and something broken the same time. I loved him though he had just 50 kube engine and a single cylinder. His average speed was 60 km per hour and it was my first motorcycle and the biggest love of that time. When i first sat on a bike it was a first crash within 8 kilometers and we had to repair a bike of another member of our group. We broke up our relations under a truck. The passive safety of a chinese bike prevented from getting any injuries but he was broken. Now he's disassembled and may be running on the roads of all Moscow being apart.


Flashmob day 1: My best friend.

Лучше ужасный конец, чем бесконечный ужас.
It was always hard for me to differ who it might be. Technically i have one scale of relationship that doesn't differ if it is my brother or beloved either of these people can be a best friend. Though if we consider social point of view it would be Staenn, she is a dreamer but a fighter, she is very kind and gave me a lot of happy moments. I really enjoy watching her life and helping her when i can. We reunited to become best friends under tough circumstances, but i am anyway grateful to destiny for it.

The road so far...